Silent Nights
by NettieC
Summary: Not a Christmas story just one I had around....Harm Mac Snow Accident Mother Nun Ulysees Grandmother...putting all the pieces together...R
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**This is not a Christmas one, just one I had sitting finished and thought I'd share…it should be about 5 chapters...  
**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

The cold night air crept in around the door and window frames, not to mention via the cracks in the wall. There was snow on the roof and more would fall before the night was through. Mac tried to adjust herself in the small bed without waking Harm; it was only slightly bigger than a bunk on a submarine and with both of them sharing it, the word 'cosy' came to mind.

She turned away from him and looked into the fireplace where the last of the embers were still aglow. Fire always had a mesmerising effect on her and she lay quietly watching the soft red glow on the black background. She felt Harm's arm slip around her waist and hold her securely, she smiled. His rhythmic breathing indicated he was still asleep and Mac found comfort in knowing he was so close.

This was the last place she though she would be tonight. Well, if she was to be honest, it was the place she hoped to be, however, the circumstances would have been different. Mac closed her eyes and thought of the events which had brought them to this arrangement on a snowy winter's night.

_Harm, Mac, Bud and Harriet had been invited to lunch by AJ Chegwidden at a small restaurant in Middleburg. They had had a wonderful time catching up with AJ, finding out about his travels since his retirement, his future plans, reminiscing about their days together at JAG. Sadly, it had ended all too quickly and they all vowed to try to make such lunches a regular part of their social calendar._

_On their way out to the parking lot, Mac had slipped on the icy pavement and sprained her ankle. It was nothing too serious but Harm had offered to drive her home in her Corvette. His car was in the shop and he had arrived with Bud and Harriet. Mac agreed but had given him a friendly warning that if he so much as put a scratch on her car he would be paying for it in a very painful way._

_Harm had laughed it off. He was a highly capable and confident driver and didn't think the conditions on these country roads were beyond his skills. Things changed about thirty minutes into the trip when he took a corner a little too fast and in the wet conditions found the car aquaplaning across the road and down an embankment before landing in a ditch._

_"Mac, are you all right?" he asked breathlessly as the car finally stopped._

_She didn't answer._

_"Mac?" he fumbled in the darkness of the car's interior to find a light. "Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. You?" she asked, her heart still beating wildly._

_"I'm okay," he sighed, glad she was unhurt._

_"Thank God, because I'm going to kill you. Harm, I warned you about damaging my car," she said, her voice rising._

_"Well, technically Mac you threatened me about putting a scratch on it. I don't think it's scratched probably dented, maybe written off, but probably not scratched," he laughed nervously but Mac didn't see the humour._

_She reached out and a resounding thud could be heard as her arm made contact with his body._

_"Ow, Mac, that hurt!" he exclaimed._

_"Good!!!"_

_Mac made Harm get out of the car and investigate their chances of getting the Corvette out of its predicament. She knew before he said anything they wouldn't be getting it out of its new home anytime soon._

_"Well, Flyboy, what do we do now?" she asked as he slid back into the car._

_It was late afternoon and quite dark already. Her sore ankle meant they weren't able to walk too far and the angle of the car made staying in it less than appealing._

_"Give me twenty minutes. I'm sure I saw a house in the last mile or so, I'll go check it out." He pulled his coat tighter around him and pulled the hood over his head._

_"Take care," Mac called after him, she actually felt sorry for him going out into the cold all alone._

_The twenty minute mark came and went without Harm's return, as did the thirty minute mark. When forty minutes had passed Mac's concern began to grow. She was zipping up her coat, ready to venture out into the darkness when a knocking on her window startled her. It was Harm._

_"About time, what took you so long?" she asked, opening the door._

_"It was further away than I thought," he explained, shivering in the cold._

_"Anybody home?" Mac asked._

_"No, it's a hunting cottage, or shack, is probably a more accurate description," Harm said, digging his hands further into his jacket pockets._

_"Can we stay there tonight?" Mac asked hopefully._

_"Well, it won't be too comfortable but it has the basics," Harm replied._

_"Is it better than this?" Mac asked indicating the car._

_"Marginally." He shivered again._

_"Well, let's go!" She climbed out of the car and grimaced the minute she put weight on her injured ankle._

_"Can you walk?" Harm said, instantly reaching to grab her._

_"Yeah," she sighed._

_Mac had overestimated her abilities and it was evident she was going nowhere fast without Harm's assistance. He used his strength to pull her out of ditch and over the embankment before letting her lean on him all the way to their new found accommodation._

_After settling into the shack, Mac tried her cell phone but was unable to get a signal. Harm tried his but had no luck either. As Mac made herself comfortable on a sofa that had seen better days, Harm foraged around the cupboards looking for provisions. Eventually he reported that he had found several tins of food but as the labels had come off it would have to be pot luck. Mac was thankful she had eaten so well at lunch._

_After a brief search Harm found a woodpile under a makeshift cover against the back of the shack and brought enough in for the night. He stacked it by the hearth and began to build the perfect fire._

_"Were you a Boy Scout?" Mac asked, watching him intently._

_"No, why?" he asked without looking at her._

_"You seem to know what you are doing," she replied._

_"I always know what I'm doing, Mac." He grinned at her._

_"So you knew what you were doing when you drove my car off the road?" she questioned, an eyebrow arched high._

_"About that, I'm sorry Mac…" his voice trailed._

_"It's okay; I know it was an accident." A soft smile crossed her lips and he sighed with relief._

_The evening was spent in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere. Both enjoyed spending some quality time together. Despite all their plans and intentions, they had not been able to spend much time together lately as work commitments seemed to intrude regularly._

_"It's getting late," Harm yawned._

_"It's 2321, so I guess it is," Mac said, her timing unaffected._

_"How do you want to do this?" Harm asked looking at the small bed by the wall._

_"I don't mind sharing, do you?" she asked, she knew there was the sofa but the bed seemed a better proposition._

_"No!" Mac couldn't help but grin at the speed he had responded._

_Harm helped Mac to the bed before, for comfort's sake, removing his jeans and sweater. He got into bed first, reasoning that he didn't want Mac to get squeezed between himself and a hard wooden wall. He lay there watching Mac remove her trousers and sweater, he took a deep breath, this sleeping arrangement would be more difficult than he thought._

_Mac initially decided on sleeping facing him, when she had finally found a place that was comfortable, he pulled the blankets up around her and rested his arm across her shoulder. It was the warmest she had felt in hours._

It hadn't taken long for them both to fall asleep but now, two hours later; here she was wide awake watching the fading embers.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**This is not a Christmas one, just one I had sitting finished and thought I'd share…**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

The air in the shack was decidedly cooler than it had been when they had first gone to bed and Mac could feel a draft play across her face. She contemplated putting some more wood on the fire but for the time being decided against it. She pulled the blanket up onto her face and leaned back slightly to gain the maximum benefit of shared body warmth, all the while Harm slept on.

As was part of her regular nightly schedule Mac found herself thinking about Harm, well, dreaming, fantasising, more than thinking. The only difference between her normal nocturnal adventures and tonight was he was actually there. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her neck and the radiating heat from his body in the bed they shared. What she wouldn't give to turn around and take advantage of this sleeping beauty beside her. How she'd love to kiss him, touch him, love him, right there in the rickety bed, in a rundown shack in the middle of nowhere. How she would love, beyond anything else, to make this sleeping arrangement permanent.

"_Who's going to want anyone like you?"_ she heard her mother's voice echo around her head, as it often did in the bleak hours of the night. She had said those very words to Sarah, when as an 11 year old she sought comfort over a broken heart. Those were the words which continued to haunt Mac in all her relationships to this very day. Mac could never understand why the woman maintained such a strong control over her. She shuddered involuntarily; her mother always had that effect on her.

Harm instinctively responded to Mac's movement by pulling her closer to him. Even in his sleep he was more responsive than most men in her life had been. As the time ticked away Mac became very reflective. In her life there was no one, she had no parents, no siblings, her friends were all colleagues. She didn't keep in touch with anyone outside her immediate work circle. If she died tomorrow, she reasoned, her friends would be sad but then they would get on with their lives. There would be no one to mourn her, no one to really regret her passing. She would be a statistic on a record book somewhere. In five, ten, twenty years from now, she would be a faceless, meaningless, name on a file. Her mother was right, who would want her. Here she was in bed with the only person she had ever truly loved and even he didn't seem to want her.

At this realisation she slipped out of the bed. She grabbed the top blanket and wrapped it around her. As quietly as she could, she limped over to the fireplace and put on a few logs, watching the fire come to life. She carefully eased the sofa closer to the fire and settled herself onto it. As she sat there staring into the flames the tears began to fall. At first it was just a tear or two slipping barely noticed but soon the cascade began, there was no sobbing or wailing, just a silent outpouring of sadness.

Harm missed her presence in bed almost immediately but at first thought she may have just gone to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later when she had still not returned he wearily opened his eyes and tried to focus in the darkness. He reached out patting the bed, making sure that she wasn't there, before noticing the silhouette on the sofa.

He watched her for a while; she was as beautiful as ever to him. There weren't many men as lucky as him, he conceded, who got to work with and be in love with their best friend. There had been many, many nights he had imagined being alone with her, doing things with her and to her, that even now sent his heart racing.

It took him a few minutes to realise Mac was crying.

"Mac," he said quietly, grabbing another blanket and moving to her. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, uh, nothing, it's all right," she wiped away her tears.

"No, it's not. Are you in pain?" he asked taking her ankle in his hands.

"Yes," she whimpered. She was in pain, just in a different location.

"I'll see what we can do." Harm grabbed a piece of rough material that doubled as a towel and opened the shack door. Mac shivered as an icy blast filled the room. Harm closed the door and returned to the sofa with a towel full of snow to use as a makeshift ice pack. He wrapped Mac's ankle and set it gently on his lap.

"Thanks," she smiled weakly, pulling the blanket tighter.

"Anytime."

Mac sat back and stared into the fire again and Harm knew her ankle was not the problem. His Marine didn't cry in the face of physical pain. He tenderly raised her leg and put it onto the sofa, he stood up, stoked the fire and then came back and sat on the edge of the sofa.

"Do you want to talk to me?" he asked quietly, brushing her hair from her face.

She shook her head.

"Sometimes it helps," he prompted, his hand reaching for hers.

She bit her bottom lip.

"Okay, just know I'll be here for you." He reached forward and took her in his arms. She rested her head on his chest and allowed herself to melt away.

She could hear him muttering soothing words and his care and concern were all too much and she began to sob quietly into his chest.

He held her tightly while she cried but as soon as it abated he drew back.

"Whatever it is, tell me. Let me help you," he pleaded, desperate to take away any hurt she was feeling.

"I can't," she muttered.

"Why not?" he questioned.

"Because you…" her voice trailed off.

"Because I what? Because I wouldn't understand? Because I can't help? Because it's my fault? What?" Harm asked, desperation in his eyes. Mac nodded slowly. "Which one, Mac?" he asked pulling her face up so she was looking at him.

"All of them," she whispered.

"All of them? Huh?" he drew a deep breath. "What did I do wrong?"

They sat there, still touching, looking into the fire as the flames illuminated their faces. Quietly she told him of the dark thoughts which had invaded her night. How her life was pretty much a non event and that her mother had been right.

"Your mother? How does she fit into this scenario?" Harm asked.

"My mother always said no one would want me. She let me know from a young age that I was a nothing, a nobody, and I believed her then. When she abandoned me I thought maybe she was wrong and it was her problem. Now I look at my life and she was right, nobody wants me." Mac voice remained low and devoid of self pity.

Harm took another deep breath, he wanted her, he always had. "How does that get to be my fault?" he asked searching her eyes.

"It's not your fault but when we were in bed I shuddered and you instinctively held me tighter and then you fixed my ankle and you were concerned about me," Mac rambled.

"I still don't get it." He turned to face her again.

"I can't explain it to you, not now, I'm sorry." She looked tearfully into his eyes, Harm knew she was fighting to keep it together and didn't push.

"Okay, it's okay. No more talking for tonight on one condition – you come back to bed now."

Mac nodded and before long they were again asleep in the rickety bed.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**This is not a Christmas one, just one I had sitting finished and thought I'd share…**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

With the new day, Mac's mood was considerably brighter. Harm noted she barely limped at all, confirming his belief her ankle had not been the issue at all last night – but he never mentioned it. By the time they had managed to get out of the shack and back to the car, snow had all but covered the red Corvette and it was obvious they would need help. Harm left Mac at the car and walked up a nearby hill to survey the area and to try his cell again. He could see nothing but the smoke from their shack's chimney and after several failed attempts finally got Bud on his cell. He quickly explained the predicament they had found themselves in and asked Bud to organise assistance but he also made Bud promise to give them another 24 hours. Harm wanted more time with Mac and to hopefully understand her problems.

When he returned to the car, Mac was waiting.

"Any luck?"

"I got through to Bud's message bank and left our details," he lied. "When I tried another number I had no signal."

"Well, hopefully Bud will check it soon," Mac said.

"Yeah, hopefully, are you ready to go back?" he asked taking her arm.

"Yep." She smiled.

"How's the ankle?" he asked as they began their trek back.

"Not too bad, the snow must have done the trick."

Harm smiled.

The afternoon was spent lazily. With nothing to do and nowhere to go, they spent the time relaxing and chatting. When the moment felt right Harm began. "Mac, about last night, you do realise your mother was wrong, don't you?"

"I guess," she said, not making eye contact with him.

"What do you mean you guess?" asked Harm. "Your mother was wrong, plain and simple, she was wrong. Wrong to have said it and wrong to have made you believe it."

Mac tilted her head, in moments of clarity she agreed with Harm but in the depths of the night logic deserted her.

"You were upset with me because I cared about you, weren't you?" he asked.

"No," she replied quickly.

"Then what was it, Mac?"

Mac got up and stood by the window. There was nothing to see but she stood staring intently anyway.

"Mac?" he prompted.

"The truth?" she asked, turning to face him.

"Always." A comforting smile appeared on his lips.

"I was laying there feeling a little down, my mother's words haunting me and I realised that while you cared about me, probably more than anyone else in the world does, that…" she stopped abruptly, not wanting to complete her thoughts.

"That…what?" he asked with urgency.

"That…that… here you were, in this Godforsaken place, holding me, comforting me but you didn't want me either," she said quietly before turning back to the window.

_That's a lie, _Harm wanted to say but didn't.

"I mean, if we are honestly telling the truth then _she _was right and nobody wants me." Mac went back to staring out into the nothingness, awaiting a response but not really expecting it. After all, there was nothing to say.

Harm sat and watched her for a while.

"The truth, huh?" he said rhetorically. "Then I guess I'd better say this… Mac, look at me." He took her arm and turned her around.

"Your mother was wrong because somebody does want you – me! This is a bit embarrassing but it has always been you," he finally admitted.

"Why is _that_ embarrassing?" Mac asked hurt.

"Oh, no, not in that way but embarrassing in the way that here I am, forty plus, in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, one that I am lucky to consider my best friend and I am too much of a coward to say anything. I can fly fighter jets, fight terrorists, disarm bombs, handle nuclear weapons but the very thought of taking you in my arms and telling you I love you scares me beyond belief," Harm said at a rapid rate.

"What is it about me that's so scary?" Mac said ignoring his declaration.

"Not you – this." He pointed to each of them.

"Huh?" Mac was confused.

"The fact that I love you so much, more than I ever thought possible. The fact that I want to spend every waking and sleeping moment with you. The fact that if you don't love me or this doesn't work out then I don't really see any future I want. The fact that I feel so vulnerable actually needing and wanting anybody as much as I do you…" he paused.

Mac stood stunned.

"Are you going to say something?" he finally asked.

"That's a lot of facts there," she all but whispered.

"And here's another fact. I am going to kiss you right now."

Harm moved closer to her and gently touched her lips with his own in soft, tender kisses When he felt her tongue searching for entry into his mouth he pulled back.

"Sarah MacKenzie, I love you. I always have, I always will," Harm declared.

"I love you too, Harm." She launched herself into his arms and they fell together onto the sofa. As the intensity and urgency grew, Harm realised he was not prepared for this tryst.

"Mac, wait," he said breathlessly. "I haven't got any protection."

"Seriously?" Mac asked, locking eyes with him before giggling.

"Yeah, I didn't expect us to…" his voice trailed.

"Never?" Mac arched an eyebrow.

"No, just not today," he clarified.

"Harm, we had a baby deal remember, aside from that is there any reason we need protection?" she asked.

"No."

"Then…" She left him in no doubt that proceedings were back underway.

Several items of clothing had been discarded before Harm stopped again. "Mac, wait."

"Again?" Mac didn't know whether to be annoyed or amused.

"Did you hear that?" he asked, looking towards the door.

"No, what?" she replied.

"It just sounded like…forget it," he said, resuming his exploration of her body.

"Oh, Harm, ah," Mac moaned. "Don't stop!"

But he did and this time she knew why.

"Oh dear, sorry. Oh my, oh!" came a voice from the doorway.

"Oh," said Harm, pulling the blanket over Mac. "Can we help you?"

The woman blushed a deep red. "My car broke down about half a mile from here and I was hoping you could help me."

"Sure, I'll see what I can do," said Harm pulling on his sweater, then his jacket. He noticed the woman was shivering in her light jacket. "Ma'am, why don't you stay here and get warm while I check it out?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble," the stranger replied.

"No trouble ma'am," Harm said. The sooner he had this sorted the sooner he could get back to other things.

Harm returned within half an hour and the news wasn't good. "I'm sorry ma'am, I couldn't get it going. It seems to have a short in the electrical system and without…"

"You can stop there, Harmon, I'm an old lady. I turn the key and it goes. I put gas into it and it continues to go. Outside that I'm at a loss," the woman replied.

"Well, in that case, it looks like you are stuck with us. We can all be rescued together," Harm said, removing his jacket.

"Better than being alone," she smiled.

Harm noticed Mac looking at him strangely.

"Harm, this is Sister Mary Margaret from Christendom College, she has just been visiting friends in Warrenton," Mac said.

"Pleased to meet you, Sister," said Harm.

"You too Harmon, your lovely wife was just telling me that you two were coming home from your honeymoon when you had an accident," Sister Mary Margaret explained.

"Ah, yes that's right, Sister," Harm didn't like the idea of lying to a nun but felt it may be the easier than the truth. _Besides,_ he told himself,_ one day she would be his wife and then it wouldn't be a lie._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**This is not a Christmas one, just one I had sitting finished and thought I'd share…**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

Due to the arrival of their new housemate, Harm and Mac's plans for the afternoon were seriously curtailed. Instead they had to rely on some hand holding and a level of affection appropriate to their audience.

"How did you two meet?" Sister Mary Margaret asked.

Harm and Mac looked at each other. "Well, we met in the Rose Garden at the White House," Mac smiled.

"Oh my, the actual White House, was it?" she asked.

"Yes," said Harm. "Then we got to work together at JAG Headquarters in Falls Church, Virginia."

"JAG?" questioned the nun.

"Judge Advocate General, Harm and I are lawyers in the military," Mac explained.

"Like the Army?" Sister asked.

Harm smiled, nobody in their branches of service _liked_the Army.

"Yes, Harm's in the Navy and I'm in the Marines," Mac said.

"Oh, so you are a sailor, Harmon and Sarah, a Marine, I didn't know they allowed women in the Marines," she said.

"They have for some time now." Mac smiled proudly.

"Your parents must be so proud of both of you, serving your country so well," Sister Mary Margaret said.

"They are all very proud," answered Harm. Certain that the afternoon was not going to be spent reliving the traumas associated with their parents. Mac smiled gratefully.

Over dinner, Sister Mary Margaret asked them questions about their wedding. Harm took Mac's hand and squeezed it realising they would have to continue to lie to a nun, but it would be for a good cause.

"It was a small, simple wedding," Harm started. "It was just Sarah and I and our best friends, Bud and Harriet…"

"Your parents didn't attend?" Sister asked surprised.

"Well, originally we were going to have a big wedding but we had to postpone it twice due to urgent assignments, so finally we just eloped. Our parents understood," offered Mac.

"That's good. And where did you get married?" she asked.

"In the chapel on base," answered Harm

"Lovely. And the honeymoon?" she asked.

"A week at Graves Mountain Lodge, about 70 miles south of here," Mac lied.

"Terrific it was too," added Harm.

"I bet it was," Sister Mary Margaret smiled.

Harm blushed.

When the evening drew to a close, Mac offered the bed to Sister Mary Margaret. When she was settled for the night, Harm and Mac snuggled down on the sofa. He held Mac close and kissed her forehead.

"Why did you tell her we were married?" he whispered.

"I didn't – when you left we were chatting and she referred to you as my husband and given what she had walked in on I didn't want to correct her. Then I made the rest up. Do you mind?" Mac asked, running her hand over his chest.

"Not in the least." He kissed her tenderly. "I'll marry you any day."

"I'll keep you to that, Flyboy."

Not long after dawn a loud knocking woke them up. Harm opened the door and was greeted by a young man wearing dirty blue overalls and baseball cap with Mike's Mechanics embroidered across the front.

"You guys the ones with the blue sedan out yonder?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes, well, it's Sister Mary Margaret's. Ours is the red Corvette down an embankment nearly two miles that way," Harm replied.

"Oh, didn't see that one. Do you all need a tow?" asked the man.

"Yeah, we do," answered Harm.

"If you come with me, we can load up the Corvette first and then hitch up the sedan," the man explained.

So it was that an hour later all three had been rescued and were sitting in Arthur's, a small run down café, across the road from the garage.

"Morning folks," said a short, bald man, wiping his greasy hands on a rag as he approached their table and interrupted their breakfast. "Now, I've had a look at the cars and I should be able to get the sedan on the road within the hour."

"And the Corvette?" asked Mac, not sure if she wanted to be heading off so soon.

"Not looking so good, ma'am, she needs a lot of front end work. While it looked like you hit a snow bank there was actually a big tree stump in it, sorry," the mechanic replied.

"What do we do now?" she asked no one in particular.

"Well ma'am, I suggest you call your insurance company and they'll arrange to have it brought back to the city and repaired," he said.

"Sarah, Harmon, I could drive you back to Washington," offered Sister Mary Margaret.

"That's very generous, Sister, but it's in the complete opposite direction of where you are headed. We'll be right," said Harm.

"We will?" wondered Mac.

"Sure, I'll be back." Harm left and called Bud again. He knew there were plenty of things Bud would prefer to do on his holiday Monday but as he already knew that Harm and Mac required assistance this call would not be a surprise.

"Bud will be here by 1100," Harm said sitting back down at the table. "He was already on his way."

"Why was he already on his way, Harmon?" Sister Mary Margaret asked.

"I left a message with him yesterday to say we'd had an accident and he got it this morning, so he was coming to look," Harm lied. _All these lies to a nun will send me right to hell, _Harm thought to himself.

After breakfast Harm and Mac walked the Sister over to pick up her car. Harm handed her his business card and made her promise to call him in the next day or so, just to let them know she had arrived safely and all was well. Sister Mary Margaret promised to do so, thanked them profusely for their hospitality and care and promised to pray for them. They waved her off and decided to take a stroll around town while they waited for Bud.

It was a quick stroll as it was a small town so they settled back into the café booth.

"Now, Harm, where were we when we were interrupted yesterday?" Mac asked, moving closer to him.

"I'm not sure, Mac, you might have to remind me," Harm smiled.

Mac moved around to his side of the table and slid her hand up the inside of his thigh.

"Ring any bells," she whispered into his ear.

"Ah…not yet," he mumbled.

She moved her hand higher and higher before brushing her lips against his.

"Ding, dong," he said responding favourably to her kiss.

"Coffee?" the waitress asked abruptly.

"Oh, ah, yes thanks," Harm managed regaining his composure.

"City folk," she muttered walking back to the counter.

"I don't think she approves of our form of entertainment," Mac offered.

"Maybe we should cool it a bit – Bud should be here shortly anyway," Harm said, watching the door.

"On one condition…." Mac said.

"And what would that be?" Harm asked turning back to her.

"That this afternoon when we get back, it's you, me and no interruptions." She kissed him again.

"I could manage that," Harm laughed kissing her back quickly before the waitress put the mugs of coffee on the table.

"Good morning, how are you both?" Bud asked surprising them.

"Fine thanks, Bud. Thanks for coming," said Harm.

"No problems, I couldn"t leave you out here. Heaven knows what you'd get up to," Bud smiled.

"Heaven already knows," Mac laughed.

"What?" asked Bud missing the joke.

"Heaven knows what we got up to," Mac stated.

"We had a nun to keep us company," Harm added.

Bud shook his head, he knew they hadn't been drinking but was beginning to think they had sustained a head trauma in the accident.

"You about ready to go?" he asked them finally.

"Yeah," they answered in unison, they were more than ready to get out of here and into their plans for the rest of the day.

Half an hour before they reached the city, Bud pulled the car into the car park of a McDonald's store. "Sorry guys," he said, "a call of nature."

As soon as Bud was out of sight Harm turned to Mac who was sitting in the back.

"My place or yours?" he asked quickly.

"Huh?" said Mac who had been sleeping peacefully.

"Are we going to my place or yours? You know you, me and no interruptions." Mac smiled, that was exactly what she had been dreaming of. "Well?"

"Patience is a virtue, Harmon," Mac said, imitating Sister Mary Margaret.

"Bud will be back and we need a plan," Harm said.

"Well, it will have to be your place because I don't have a car to drive you home, do I?" Mac reminded him.

"Oh, right – my place it is. You haven't changed your mind have you?" he asked somewhat nervously.

Mac shook her head.

"Bad news I'm afraid," Bud said, easing himself back into the driver's seat.

"What?" they answered loudly in unison, surprising Bud.

"We need to be at Andrews by 1530 hours for a flight out to the Ulysses," he explained looking from one to the other.

"We, who? You and me or you and Mac?" Harm asked, not that it mattered as either way their plans were shot.

"We, as in the three of us," Bud clarified.

"Isn't Sturgis already on the Ulysses in the Beaumont investigation?" asked Mac.

"Yes he is," answered Bud.

"So what's so damned important about the Beaumont matter that it takes four JAG lawyers," said Harm annoyed.

Bud took a deep breath. "The fact that one of those lawyers is MIA."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**My military protocol etc is not perfect…just go with the flow**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….There are 2 chapters after this one and my intent is to post them before Christmas. I am unwell at the moment and am not making any promises about when more JAG will be posted…rest assured I still have a few JAG stories in my stockpile though.**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

ULYSSES

1736

"JAG on deck," was announced as Harm, Mac and Bud stood to attention.

"Sorry to get you here under these circumstances," Captain Mooney said extending his hand to each of the trio.

"So are we," Harm answered.

"Can you tell us what happened?" asked Mac.

"Well, Colonel, as far as I know Commander Turner had completed his investigation and found there was enough evidence to refer Lieutenant Beaumont to an Article 32 hearing. He informed me of this decision at 1735 yesterday and I thanked him for the manner in which he dealt with the matter. I asked him to have dinner with me at 1930 so I could discuss another matter, a more personal one, and he accepted. He never showed. I made enquiries, searched his stateroom, made repeated announcements for him to contact me but all to no avail. I had the ship searched and still no result. That's when I called General Cresswell," explained the Captain.

"So, he's been missing twenty four hours," Bud said for clarification.

"Yes, Commander."

Sitting in Sturgis' stateroom, Mac picked up a file. "How does someone disappear on a ship?" she said, asking the obvious questions.

"They don't," Harm answered. "There are two scenarios."

"Only two?" asked Bud.

"Yep, either he is still on board or he went overboard. If it's the latter, then he's as good as gone. Twenty four hours out floating in the middle of God knows where is pretty much a lost cause," said Harm sadly.

"And if it's the former?" asked Bud.

"Then we'd better find him. Now Bud, I want you to stay here and go through everything in this room. Every file, every piece of paper, every email, anything that will let us know what Sturgis was up to," said Harm picking up Sturgis' jacket from the bed.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Mac, willing to let Harm take the lead on this investigation.

"Go through the Beaumont file, find out what happened, what notes were made, re–interview the main players, just see what you can find," Harm instructed.

"Do you think his disappearance is linked to the Beaumont case?" asked Bud.

"Too soon to tell but it's as good a place to start as any," he replied.

"What are you going to do?" asked Mac.

"I'm going to look for him. If he is onboard there has to be a place where they haven't looked." Harm looked at his watch. "Let's meet back here at 2100 and see what's what, okay?"

Bud sat down at the computer and watched as his colleagues departed, he knew there had been a shift in their relationship. He couldn't pinpoint it nor was he prepared to question it; he just smiled to himself and hoped they had finally come to their senses.

2100

"Nothing," said Mac as she entered the room to find both Bud and Harm already there. "On the surface this case looks like a run-of-the-mill Conduct Unbecoming and Reckless Endangerment. Beaumont was legally drunk when he operated a crane on deck which dropped its cargo, just missing three crewmen standing beneath."

"Any ill feeling?" asked Harm.

"Not any more than you'd expect and certainly nothing directed at Sturgis," she said. "You?"

"No, spoke to several involved in the search yesterday, rechecked a lot of places but nothing," Harm said. "Bud?"

"Nothing really stands out. Nothing that would explain a disappearance…" Bud started.

"Bud, that doesn't sound too convincing. Have you found something or not?" Mac asked.

"Well, there are several emails of a personal nature that…," Bud stopped.

"What, Bud?" asked Harm.

"Look they are not related to the case and I'm not sure if they are related to Commander Turner's disappearance either. I just don't think he'd be happy with me divulging them " Bud said anxiously.

"I'm not interested in how pleased Sturgis will be. Let's find him first and then worry about it. What do the emails say?" Harm was insistent.

"The emails are between Commander Sturgis and Ms Chestnut, there were twenty seven of them in the twenty four hours prior to his disappearance," Bud explained.

"Twenty seven? That's a lot. What do they say?" Mac asked.

Bud took a deep breath; he wasn't comfortable with this at all. "The general gist is that they were splitting up and Commander Turner wasn't taking it well." Bud brought up a few of the messages so they could judge for themselves.

"He certainly wasn't happy with it, was he?" asked Mac stating the obvious.

"No, he wasn't," commented Harm.

"Look, this doesn't say much for Commander Turner's state of mind but we can't discount his disappearance is not related to the investigation," said Bud finally.

"We're not discounting anything at this stage, Bud. Although I do think we need to rethink our strategies," said Harm.

A knock on the door interrupted them and Harm opened it.

"Sir, the XO asked me to bring this tray for you all. He was aware you haven't eaten." The ensign moved in and placed a tray on the table filled with sandwiches, fruit and juice.

"Thank you Ensign," said Harm as he turned to leave.

"I hope you find him, sir, he seemed like a good man," offered the young man as he exited the room.

"Why do you say _he seemed like a good man_, Ensign? That's using the past tense," Bud said moving to the door.

"Oh, I… I… I… meant nothing by it," he stammered. "It's just when I spoke to him yesterday he seemed friendly enough, you know helpful."

"What time was this?" asked Mac.

"About 1630, ma'am," he replied.

"That's before he went missing," she clarified.

"Yes ma'am. I also saw him a few hours later," the ensign said.

"Exactly how much later?" asked Mac, knowing every minute needed to be accounted for.

"Well, I don't know exactly but I guess it was close to 1900," he said.

"Where did you see him?" Mac asked.

"On the deck," the ensign replied.

"Did you speak to him?" she asked.

"I went to, ma'am, but he ignored me."

"What do you mean he ignored you?" asked Harm.

"I went to say thanks for some advice he'd given me earlier but he looked right through me and kept going." The ensign looked down at his shoes.

"Where did he go?" she asked

"Over to lean on the railing," the young man replied.

"Did you see him after that?"

"No ma'am."

After the Ensign left the trio sat down and contemplated the developments. Given the emails, the Ensign's information and Sturgis' last known whereabouts, they had to give serious consideration to the fact Sturgis may have gone overboard.

TUESDAY

1155

"Commander Rabb, tell me some good news," said Captain Mooney as Harm stepped onto the bridge.

"Sorry to disappoint you, sir, I have none," Harm said remorsefully.

"What do you have, Commander?" he asked.

"May we speak in private, sir?" Harm asked

"Will the Officers' Mess in twenty minutes do you?" he asked.

"Yes sir, thanks."

In the relative privacy of the Officers' Mess, Harm informed the Captain of what they had found so far and at his reluctance to draw any conclusions at this stage.

"Well, Commander, where to from here?"

"Another 24 hours," Harm requested.

"Very well, if you haven't found Commander Sturgis by this time tomorrow, I'll declare him missing at sea, presumed drowned."

Harm felt his heart begin to race. He knew it was procedure but this wasn't a faceless sailor he was talking about, it was his friend, an old friend. When Harm broke the news to Bud and Mac neither said anything. There wasn't anything to say.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**My military protocol etc is not perfect…just go with the flow**_

_**This one's for me because I need it….There is 1 chapter after this one and my intent is to post them before Christmas. I am unwell at the moment and am not making any promises about when more JAG will be posted…rest assured I still have a few JAG stories in my stockpile though.**_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

1923

"Found you, Flyboy," Mac said coming up behind him as he leaned on the railing looking at the vast expanse of water before him.

"Hi there," he said smiling but not moving. Mac leaned on the rails next to him, slightly pushing her body into his.

"What are you thinking, Harm?" she asked, watching him rather than the ocean.

"I'm trying not to think. I'm hoping he didn't go over but things don't look to good, do they?" he said, turning to her and smiling sadly.

"'Fraid not." Briefly she rested her head on his shoulder, very much aware they were not alone. "We'll find him."

"Commander, Colonel," Bud called from behind them startling them. "Glad I found you."

"What's up, Bud?" asked Mac.

"Mac, you have a call from Chloe, she says it's important." And with that Mac was gone.

"So what are you thinking, Commander?" asked Bud looking out to sea.

"That's a popular question tonight," Harm replied.

"So what's the answer?" he asked.

"I don't know, Bud, but I do think we need to go in and go through this again."

Harm and Bud walked in through the hatch and along the corridor.

"Just going to use the head," Bud said as they got to the stairwell.

"Ok, I'll meet you back in the room."

-0-0-0

Twenty minutes later Bud entered Sturgis' room. "Sorry it took so long; the first head was out of order."

"Why?" asked Harm.

"Don't know; the door wouldn't open," Bud explained.

"Did you call maintenance?" Harm asked.

"Yeah, they said it went on their schedule yesterday but wasn't a priority," he offered.

"What time yesterday? Harm scanned the sheet holding the timeline in this case.

"About 1930. Do you think it's related?" Bud asked, feeling a little uneasy.

"Let's go find out."

Harm and Bud returned to the head and once again tried to open the reluctant door. Whilst they could free the lock they could not get the door to move. Finally Harm applied all his might and the door moved, not far but enough for him to be able to put his arm through and feel around.

"God!" Harm exclaimed. "There's someone in there."

"Is it Commander Turner?" asked Bud, hope mixed with fear in his voice.

"I don't know. Get me some help," ordered Harm.

Bud went to call for help and Harm continued to feel around blindly, hoping and praying. Finally he grabbed hold of an arm, it was cold and limp. He felt around and located a watch. He removed the watch and knew instantly it belonged to Sturgis. He reached in and grabbed the arm again, shaking it violently.

"Sturgis! Sturgis!" he yelled. There was no response; desperately he searched for a pulse. He was sure he felt one although he knew it could be wishful thinking.

"Bud, it's Sturgis," Harm yelled as soon as he saw Bud reappear in the corridor.

"Is he all right?" Bud asked anxiously.

"Don't know."

"Help is on its way."

0-0-0

Thirty five minutes later the door had been removed and Sturgis was in sickbay. Harm hovered in the background as the doctor and nurses carried out various tests and attached various pieces of equipment.

"So Doctor, what's the prognosis?" asked Harm, when he couldn't take it any longer.

"Let's step outside."

"Well?"

"Well, Commander Turner is in a serious and unstable condition. He is unconscious and had suffered major blood loss," the doctor explained.

"What do you think happened?" Harm asked.

"Hard to say but given the timeline and circumstances I'd say Commander Turner went to use the head and either fell or passed out hitting his head on the bowl, knocking himself out and caused the haemorrhaging." He said.

"Is he going to be all right?" Harm was desperate for the answer to be in the affirmative.

"I can't say but the next few hours will be critical," the doctor reported.

"Can I stay with him?" asked Harm.

"There's nothing you can do for him, Commander."

"Please?"

"All right, just don't get in the way."

Harm sat down on a hard chair alongside Sturgis' bed. He patted his arm and told him that all would be well. He was about to pick up his hand when Bud returned.

"I've made the necessary calls," Bud said quietly. "How's he doing?"

"He's in a serious and unstable condition. Have you seen Mac?" asked Harm.

"Yeah, she'll be here shortly," he replied.

"She's been gone a while, is everything all right with Chloe?" Harm's voice was almost a whisper.

"I don't think so."

0-0-0

"How's he doing?" asked Mac coming in behind Bud.

"Don't know yet," said Harm turning around and realising she had been crying. "What's wrong?"

"No, it's okay," she said, drawing a deep breath.

"Mac, what is it? What's wrong with Chloe?"

The nurse came into the room and explained it wasn't possible to have all three present - two would have to go. Bud looked at Harm and Mac.

"How about I stay here with the Commander and you two can go talk. When you're done, one of you can replace me," Bud offered.

0-0-0

Harm took Bud up on his offer and walked silently with Mac back to her state room. When the door was shut Harm reached out and pulled Mac to him. "What is it?" he asked quietly.

Without moving from his arms, Mac told Harm of the phone call and how they had been disconnected, of how they had to complete their conversation via the internet messaging system. "That's what took so long," Mac concluded breaking away.

"Mac, you haven't told me what the problem was. Come and sit with me." Harm sat on the bed and Mac sat beside him.

"Chloe's grandmother had a cardiac arrest this morning," Mac said sadly.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. How's she doing?" asked Harm. One of his hands held hers; the other ran up and down her back.

"Not great, they don't think she'll make it," she said, tears starting to fall again.

"How's Chloe?" he asked,.

"Not doing too well. She wants me there, I want to be there and there's no flight possible until tomorrow."

Harm drew her to him; he knew how much she loved Chloe and how much she would want to be there to help her. He kissed her head. "Anything I can do for you?"

"Just hold me," she said quietly and he did.

When he realised she was asleep he eased her back onto the bed and left her a note. He relieved Bud in sickbay and sat wearily in the chair. It had just gone one when Sturgis awoke.

"What are you doing here, buddy?" he croaked.

"Waiting for you to wake up," Harm replied with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Like… like… I don't know. What happened?" Confusion danced across Sturgis' face.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Harm said.

"I don't remember."

"That's all right, Commander, you rest and things will be clearer in the morning," said the doctor from the doorway.

"I think you should go and rest too, Commander. It seems your friend will make a good recovery," the doctor explained.

"Thank you Doctor. If there's anything he needs…" Harm began.

"I'll let you know."

"Night, Sturgis." There was no reply as Sturgis had already drifted off to sleep.

Harm stopped by Mac's room but she was still asleep so he returned to his room.

"Any news?" asked Bud sitting up.

"He woke up, he's doing much better," Harm reported.

"I'm glad to hear it. Did he say he what happened?" he asked.

"Couldn't remember," he replied.

Bud paused for a moment. "Harm, is Mac all right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Chloe's grandma had a heart attack this morning and she's quite ill. Chloe wants Mac to be there but she's stuck here," Harm explained.

"That explains it," Bud replied.

"Explains what?" Harm turned to him.

"Oh, why she was so upset earlier."

Harm turned off the light and slipped into bed, his head spinning over recent events.

0-0-0

When Harm awoke, Bud was gone. He showered and dressed and, as he was about to leave, was paged to attend the com. When he arrived the XO informed him that a flight would be available to take all four JAG lawyers back to Andrews at 0815. Harm thanked him and went straight to Mac's room.

"Mac, are you decent?" he asked knocking on the door.

"Yes, I am," Mac called.

"That's a shame," he said opening the door.

"Morning Commander," said Bud smiling.

"Oh morning, Bud, I didn't expect to see you here," Harm said sheepishly.

"Obviously," Bud grinned. "I was just helping the Colonel establish an internet connection to Chloe."

"Did you get her?" asked Harm.

"Yeah, about five minutes ago," answered Bud.

"Well, Mac, tell her we'll be back at Andrews by 1100. I'm sure the General will let you go to her from there."

And that is how the morning panned out.

0-0-0

When Harm finally crawled into his own bed at 2246 his first thoughts were of Mac. He grabbed the phone but before he could dial it started to ring.

"Rabb," he said.

"Hi Flyboy."

He smiled instantly, she had been away from him less than twelve hours and he missed her so much already. "Hi Marine, how are things out there?"

"Okay. Chloe's coping quite well today and her grandmother's improved. They are much more hopeful about the whole situation," Mac said, weariness in her voice.

"I'm glad to hear it. How long do you think you'll be there for?" Harm asked, hoping it would be a very short trip.

"A couple of days," she replied. "Just til the crisis is over and we know one way or another. Sorry."

"Don't apologise, Mac, it can't be helped." Harm readjusted his quilt.

"I know, Harm, but I wish I was there or you were here. I just so want to be in your arms right now," she said quietly, longing for the comfort of his presence.

"And that's where I want you too," he replied.

"Harm I have to go, Chloe's just come in," Mac said.

"Okay. I love you, Mac."

"Love you too, Harm."

It was a happy note to fall asleep on and after a night of delightful dreams morning came around too quickly.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing…I'm just playing with them. **_

_**My military protocol etc is not perfect…just go with the flow**_

_**This one's for me because I need it…. I am unwell at the moment and am not making any promises about when more JAG will be posted…rest assured I still have a few JAG stories in my stockpile though.**_

_**Final Chapter **_

---------------------------------------------------JAG-----------------------------------------------------

MAJOR GENERAL CRESSWELL'S OFFICE

Thursday 0830

Bud and Harm had briefed the Major General of the events on the Ulysses, had been given an update from Bethesda on Sturgis' night and had looked over the priority cases given Sturgis and Mac would be out of the office for the rest of the week. When all was decided the pair stood to attention and were dismissed.

"Aye, aye, sir," they said in unison and turned to leave.

"Ah, before you go Commander Rabb, I believe congratulations are in order," General Cresswell said dryly.

"Sir?" said Harm turning back.

"Your recent wedding," said the General straight faced.

"Sir?" repeated Harm, his heart racing.

"We have had several phone calls in your absence from a lady eager to speak to you. When she was informed this would not be possible she asked to speak to your beautiful wife, Sarah. Am I to assume that would be Colonel MacKenzie?" General Cresswell asked.

"Yes sir, I mean no sir," Harm stumbled.

"Which one is it?" he asked, trying to hide his amusement at Harm's discomfort.

"Yes sir, she is talking about the Colonel, no sir, we are not married," Harm clarified, a slight sheen of perspiration appearing on his brow.

"Then why should she say you were?" he asked.

"A misunderstanding, sir,' Harm replied.

"Some misunderstanding, Commander. She was quite clear about the details," he reported.

"Sir, it's a long story but I assure you the Colonel and I are not married." _Not yet anyway he added,_ to himself.

"Is there anything and I mean _anything_ I should know?" General Cresswell asked.

"No sir."

"Very well, dismissed.

CHLOE'S HOUSE

SATURDAY 2256

Disappointed Harm was stuck in Washington DC for the weekend, Mac spent her Saturday evening curled up in front of the open fire with Chloe. Her grandmother's condition had improved and they were all feeling far more optimistic about the future than they had a few days ago.

"Thanks for coming, Mac," said Chloe putting down her book. "I know I haven't been the best of company but I really appreciate you coming and putting up with me."

"Anytime, Chlo, I'm just glad things are looking brighter," Mac said.

"Me too! When do you have to head home?" Chloe asked, hoping it would be later rather than sooner.

"Tomorrow evening, I'll call about a flight in the morning. Is that okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine now besides I think you've got more important things to deal with at home," Chloe grinned.

"What do you mean?" Mac asked surprised.

"I heard your phone call the other night, I know it was Harm. What's happening there?" she asked, excitedly.

"I love him Chloe." Mac replied simply.

"Tell me something I don't know?" Chloe said rolling her eyes.

"He loves me too," Mac smiled.

"He actually said it? And you said it? Where? When did this happen?" Chloe's questions spewed out without a pause.

"Yes. Yes. The Cabin. Last Sunday, "Mac answered.

"Oh Mac, I'm so happy for you," said Chloe coming to hug her. "It's about time."

"My thought exactly." Mac grinned.

"Well, on that happy note I'm off to bed," Chloe kissed Mac's cheek and went up the stairs.

Mac sat there for a while longer before deciding to call Harm. After several unsuccessful attempts she gave up and went to bed herself. It was nearly an hour later she became aware of someone else in the bedroom.

"Is that you, Chloe?" she mumbled into her pillow. "Do you want to sleep here?" There was no answer but her visitor slid into the bed behind her. Mac smiled and turned around when she realised who it was.

"Harm, what are you doing here?"

"Holding you in my arms," he smiled and kissed her forehead. She moved closer to him and quietly drifted off to sleep.

It was the early hours of the morning when Mac awoke again. It was not at all unusual as this was the time when her mother's voice, which had been curiously absent this week, appeared. Mac lay there quietly, ready for the grating, echoing voice that had become as familiar to her as her own heartbeat, but there was nothing. She closed her eyes and tried to picture her mother but nothing came. Something was wrong, this wasn't normal.

Silently Mac slipped out of bed and sat on the easy chair. She pulled the blanket around her shoulders and drew her knees up to her chest. Thoughts raced through her head, where had her mother gone? Tears trickled down her cheeks as the reality hit her.

"Mac, what's wrong?" Harm said, seeing her sitting in the dark.

"No, no, don't get up," Mac said, moving back to the bed. She sat on his side of the bed facing him.

"What is it?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"Nothing," she replied.

"Nothing?" he asked, wiping away her tears.

"Well, it is something but not in a bad way," Mac explained.

"Mac, what?" he asked, confused and anxious.

"You love me," she said simply.

"I know, I told you that last week," Harm said, trying desperately to figure out where this conversation was headed.

"I know and things have changed in that week," Mac replied.

"Like what?" Harm was beginning to feel nervous. "Do you still love me?"

"Of course!" she said kissing him quickly. "

"So?" he prompted.

"My mother hasn't visited me at all this week," Mac said quietly.

"And that's different," asked Harm, relieved this wasn't about him.

"Yep, she's been around every night or at least every second night for the last twenty odd years," Mac explained.

"And not at all this week?" Harm asked.

"Nope." Mac shook her head.

"You know why, don't you?" he asked, squeezing her hands.

"Yep, I figured it out just now. It's because this thing we have is true love. It is perfect and wonderful and leaves no place for her at all," Mac smiled as fresh, joyful, tears fell.

"That's right." Harm leaned forward and kissed her nose.

Mac slipped back into bed and into Harm's arms.

"I love you, Harm," she whispered into the darkness.

"I love you too, Mac, but now that your mother's gone we do have one more problem?" Harm said, holding onto her tightly.

"What's that?" Mac said sitting up.

"Cresswell knows we were _married_." Harm said.

"How?" asked Mac.

"A nun told him."

Mac lay back on the bed laughing. It had been a rollercoaster of a week; an accident, a cabin, a nun, a missing friend, a seriously ill grandmother and true love. She rolled into Harm and felt his arms surround her immediately. From this place she knew she could face any challenge life had to offer – even Major General Cresswell.


End file.
